Monday rant

The NYT has a great story highlighting the surge in adoptions from Ethiopia. I tried to read through it, but I just got annoyed all over again thinking about the lengths people go through for international adoption when there are the same brown babies in the same city that need a home. And it won't cost you $20,000 to get one.

Just cracks me the fuck up.

THIS is how you make my Monday more tolerable

People should know by now that Mondays are not my favorite days, yet they insist on pissing me off. However, the ONE good person left in my life, CYBT aka Tiffany aka Work Neighbor left me this post this morning:

I have a potential beau for you. He's big, black, reasonably handsome, straight, talkative, witty, sweet and available. And he frequently uses words that I don't know the meaning of; just like you do. Anyway, he's a few months from receiving his doctorate in poly sci and will likely teach at a local college here. He likes to travel, just got back from South Africa.

I mean....that is the proverbial "what I'm talkin' bout". *Sigh* I'm concerned about the "reasonably handsome" and "talkative" part, BUT if he is straight and Black, I'll take him. I also want to know what CLEAR EVIDENCE we have of him being straight...in Moxie's world there has to be like footage of him beating a gay man or having sex with three women at the same time...something to prove his heterosexuality. Nevertheless, this man is of moxie caliber. Take note people. Don't bring me anything less than. Good job, CYBT. Good job.

I am so lucky to have people in my life (MrL, 3T, and now CYBT) helping me look for a man. I feel like the President and you people are all my Cabinet of Love members. First one of my friends who lands me a date gets cookies.

That's what friends are for?

mrl: Hey, I think I found the perfect guy for you.
moxie: Really? Do tell.
mrl: Well, I was out last night and sat next to this guy (check), Henry. Graduated from U of M's law school (check).
moxie: And...?
mrl: Oh yeah, Black. (check)
moxie: Henry? That name is gay. But cool...did you find out what his deal is?
mrl: Yeah. He's moving to Chicago next month--
moxie: Bummer.
mrl: --with his fiancee.
moxie: What? Then why the hell are you telling me about him?
mrl: Well, just to let you know that I have my eye out for you. I told him that I wanted him to meet my friend, but you know...
moxie: I can't believe you just called me to tell me this?
mrl: What? I am trying to look out for you. He's an example...
moxie: OK, bye.

The Nerd Factor - stuff I think about

Why is it that nerds looks the same regardless of race, class, ethnicity, or time period? There is that undoubted nerd factor: polo shirts tucked in, glasses, horrible haircut, lack of athletic ability, overweight or underweight, inhaler for asthmatic episodes, etc. Seriously. And why is it that nerds all participate in the same activities? This year's spelling bee winner is.....another nerd. Some kid who is a nerd. But why can't a "cool" kid enter and win the spelling bee?

Like, I have nerd traits, but many would argue that Moxie is well....moxie and not nerdy. I like to spell...in fact I kicked ASS at spelling back in the day. I would enter a spelling bee now. Why not? But I certainly wouldn't be a nerd about it. I would wear a yellow and black skirt outfit with tights (like the colors of a bee, duh) with cute earrings. Maybe throw on a headband with little bee antennae for some flair. Black nail polish....so cute.

Where are the cool nerds? You know stylish people with great hair that watch Nova on PBS and go to comic book conventions? Who get wasted while reading Harry Potter? They exist because I know people who do this stuff and they are very. cool. people.

Why can't spelling bees be more like this? I'm just saying.

Where is my Amazon.com pre-order form???

To counter all the liberal left-wing children books that cover topics like the environment *gasp* or even worse--gay marriage--the former Director of Marketing for PayPal has started his own publishing company aimed at providing a children with books that counter this crazy, hellinahandbasket ideas.


With awesome titles such as The Sky's Not Falling! Why It's OK to Chill About Global Warming! and Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed!, kids are bound to learn that its liberal, gays and feminists with their leftist agenda that makes the world a scary place.



And just in time for Christmas....

Whoops! our bad

Hey Africa!

Sorry about that whole imperialism thing. I think we should totally bury the hatches and move forward.

Your friend,
Tony B.

Give me liberty, or give me death

No really...give me death. Inmates serving life sentences in Italy sent a petition signed by over 300 prisoners to the Italian PM. The petition asks that the Italian government turn their life sentences into death penalties. For them death is preferable to life in prison. The government's response: we'll think about it.

Jesus is pretty hot

I knew those Bible-thumping girls were slutty.

An excerpt:

So, where does that leave our Romeo, still scanning the bar for a date? If he wanted to stick with the wholesome blonde, he would have to introduce himself and ask the relevant follow-up, namely, how often do you see Pastor Ted, or do you go to Bible study every week? If he ruled her out, here are some general guidelines: Definitely out of the question is an Asian-American who attends church weekly—84 percent of them are virgins. A Mormon is a long shot. They are unlikely to have sex and if they do, they don't tend to repeat the experience. A Catholic or a mainline Protestant teenager is a much better bet than a Jew (around 30 percent of the first two groups have had sex, compared with 17.6 percent for Jews). But a Jew could net a higher reward: Jews are more likely to say sex is pleasurable and more likely to have experienced oral sex.

Some girls buy shoes...

....and other girls get inked. In order to survive my blue state of mind and self-medicate, Moxie Lady impulsively got tattooed yesterday at Voodoo Monkey, Cleveland's first tat parlour. I went in on Tuesday with the "itch" and saw a fabu tat that required more hours than the artist, John, had. So we made an appointment for Wednesday evening and now my arm is literally swollen with pride. John and I spent about two hours chatting about Cleveland, family, work, and the like (He's great and I would recommend him to anyone.). Mademoiselle Kitty and her homme stopped by for a visit to help pass the time. Later, I was taken home by God's Other Son like a patient who was recovering from surgery.

So when you see Moxie, check out the new tat (up to 5 with plenty to go). When I have time, will post a pic for my outta state fans. Depending how long this depression lasts, I may end up looking like this.

Small shout out to 3T for suggesting an idea for my next tattoo. England Prevails.

Quarantine for idiots

This is a great example of stupid rich people doing stupid things. The best line out of the entire article (which was written like a broken record) is this one: "I'm a very well-educated, successful, intelligent person," he told the paper. "This is insane to me that I have an armed guard outside my door when I've cooperated with everything other than the whole solitary-confinement-in-Italy thing."

It is also comforting to know that white people are safe from profiling because he and his newlywed wife were able to "sneak" into the United States from Canada.