Tuesday, July 31, 2007
237 reasons to get your groove on
Researchers know the hows of sex, but they don't know much about the whys of it. Now they sorta do. Two psychologists from the University of Texas interviewed thousands of people and came up with the following list of reasons about why people have sex. Take a look at this extensive list and see if they missed anything.
Why Have Sex? (YSEX?) Questionnaire
[Developed by Dr. Cindy Meston and Dr. David M. Buss]*
Note. This questionnaire is entirely voluntary. You are free not to participate or to skip any question you do not want to answer for any reason. All responses are totally confidential and anonymous. We would greatly appreciate your honest responses. Thank you!
People have sex (i.e., sexual intercourse) for many different reasons. Below is a list of some of these reasons. Please indicate how frequently each of the following reasons led you to have sex in the past. For example, if about half of the time you engaged in sexual intercourse you did so because you were bored, then you would write “3” beside question 3. If you have not had sex in the past, use the following scale to indicate what the likelihood that each of the following reasons would lead you to have sex.
1. I was “in the heat of the moment.”
2. It just happened.
3. I was bored.
4. It just seemed like “the thing to do.”
5. Someone dared me.
6. I desired emotional closeness (i.e., intimacy).
7. I wanted to feel closer to God.
8. I wanted to gain acceptance from friends.
9. It’s exciting, adventurous.
10. I wanted to make up after a fight.
11. I wanted to get rid of aggression.
12. I was under the influence of drugs.
13. I wanted to try to get a better mate than my current mate.
14. I wanted to express my love for the person.
15. I wanted to experience the physical pleasure.
16. I wanted to show my affection to the person.
17. I felt like I owed it to the person.
18. I was attracted to the person.
19. I was sexually aroused and wanted the release.
20. My friends were having sex and I wanted to fit in.
21. It feels good.
22. My partner kept insisting.
23. The person was famous and I wanted to be able to say I had sex with him/her.
24. I was physically forced to.
25. I was verbally coerced into it.
26. I wanted the person to love me.
27. I wanted to have a child.
28. I wanted to make someone else jealous.
29. I wanted to have more sex than my friends.
30. I was married and you’re supposed to.
31. I was tired of being a virgin.
32. I was “horny.”
33. I wanted to feel loved.
34. I was feeling lonely.
35. Everyone else was having sex.
36. I wanted the attention.
37. It was easier to “go all the way” than to stop.
38. I wanted to ensure the relationship was “committed.”
39. I was competing with someone else to “get the person.”
40. I wanted to “gain control” of the person.
41. I was curious about what the person was like in bed.
42. I was curious about sex.
43. I wanted to feel attractive.
44. I wanted to please my partner.
45. I wanted to display submission.
46. I wanted to release anxiety/stress
47. I didn’t know how to say “no.”
48. I felt like it was my duty.
49. I wanted to end the relationship.
50. My friends pressured me into it.
51. I wanted the adventure/excitement.
52. I wanted the experience.
53. I felt obligated to.
54. It’s fun.
55. I wanted to get even with someone (i.e., revenge).
56. I wanted to be popular.
57. It would get me gifts.
58. I wanted to act out a fantasy.
59. I hadn’t had sex for a while.
60. The person was “available.”
61. I didn’t want to “lose” the person.
62. I thought it would help “trap” a new partner.
63. I wanted to capture someone else’s mate.
64. I felt sorry for the person.
65. I wanted to feel powerful.
66. I wanted to “possess” the person.
67. I wanted to release tension.
68. I wanted to feel good about myself.
69. I was slumming.
70. I felt rebellious.
71. I wanted to intensify my relationship.
72. It seemed like the natural next step in my relationship.
73. I wanted to be nice.
74. I wanted to feel connected to the person.
75. I wanted to feel young.
76. I wanted to manipulate him/her into doing something for me.
77. I wanted him/her to stop bugging me about sex.
78. I wanted to hurt/humiliate the person.
79. I wanted the person to feel good about himself/herself.
80. I didn’t want to disappoint the person.
81. I was trying to “get over” an earlier person/relationship.
82. I wanted to reaffirm my sexual orientation.
83. I wanted to try out new sexual techniques or positions.
84. I felt guilty.
85. My hormones were out of control.
86. It was the only way my partner would spend time with me.
87. It became a habit.
88. I wanted to keep my partner happy.
89. I had no self-control.
90. I wanted to communicate at a "deeper" level.
91. I was afraid my partner would have an affair if I didn't have sex with him/her.
92. I was curious about my sexual abilities.
93. I wanted a "spiritual" experience.
94. It was just part of the relationship "routine."
95. I wanted to lose my inhibitions.
96. I got "carried away."
97. I needed another "notch on my belt."
98. The person demanded that I have sex with him/her.
99. The opportunity presented itself.
100. I wanted to see what it would be like to have sex while stoned (e.g., on marijuana or some other drug).
101. It's considered “taboo” by society.
102. I wanted to increase the number of sex partners I had experienced.
103. The person was too “hot” (sexy) to resist.
104. I thought it would relax me.
105. I thought it would make me feel healthy.
106. I wanted to experiment with new experiences.
107. I wanted to see what it would be like to have sex with another person.
108. I thought it would help me to fall asleep.
109. I could brag to other people about my sexual experience.
110. It would allow me to “get sex out of my system” so that I could focus on other things.
111. I wanted to decrease my partner’s desire to have sex with someone else.
112. It would damage my reputation if I said “no.”
113. The other person was too physically attractive to resist.
114. I wanted to celebrate something.
115. I was seduced.
116. I wanted to make the person feel better about herself/himself.
117. I wanted to increase the emotional bond by having sex.
118. I wanted to see whether sex with a different partner would feel different or better.
119. I was mad at my partner, so I had sex with someone else.
120. I wanted to fulfill a previous promise to my partner.
121. It was expected of me.
122. I wanted to keep my partner from straying.
123. I wanted the pure pleasure.
124. I wanted to dominate the other person.
125. I wanted to make a conquest.
126. I’m addicted to sex.
127. It was a favor to someone.
128. I wanted to be used or degraded.
129. Someone offered me money to do it.
130. I was drunk.
131. It seemed like good exercise.
132. I was pressured into doing it.
133. The person offered to give me drugs for doing it.
134. I was frustrated and needed relief.
135. It was a romantic setting.
136. I felt insecure.
137. My regular partner is boring, so I had sex with someone else.
138. I was on the “rebound” from another relationship.
139. I wanted to boost my self-esteem
140. I wanted to get my partner to stay with me.
141. Because of a bet.
142. It was a special occasion.
143. It was the next step in the relationship.
144. I wanted to get a special favor from someone.
145. I wanted to get back at my partner for having cheated on me.
146. I wanted to enhance my reputation.
147. I wanted to keep warm.
148. I wanted to punish myself.
149. I wanted to break up a rival’s relationship by having sex with his/her partner.
150. I wanted to stop my partners’ nagging.
151. I wanted to achieve an orgasm.
152. I wanted to brag to friends about my conquests.
153. I wanted to improve my sexual skills.
154. I wanted to get a job.
155. I wanted to get a raise.
156. I wanted to get a promotion.
157. I wanted to satisfy a compulsion.
158. I wanted to make money.
159. I wanted to keep my partner satisfied.
160. I wanted to change the topic of conversation.
161. I wanted to get out of doing something.
162. I wanted to test my compatibility with a new partner.
163. I wanted to get a partner to express love.
164. I wanted to put passion back into my relationship.
165. I wanted to prevent a breakup.
166. I wanted to become one with another person.
167. I wanted to get a favor from someone.
168. I wanted to breakup my relationship.
169. I wanted to give someone else a sexually transmitted disease (e.g., herpes, AIDS).
170. I wanted to breakup another’s relationship.
171. I wanted to avoid hurting someone’s feelings.
172. I wanted to make myself feel better about myself.
173. I wanted to get rid of a headache.
174. I was afraid to say "no" due to the possibility of physical harm.
175. I wanted to keep my partner from straying.
176. I wanted to burn calories.
177. I wanted to even the score with a cheating partner.
178. I wanted to hurt an enemy.
179. I wanted to feel older.
180. It is my genetic imperative.
181. It was an initiation rite to a club or organization.
182. I wanted to become more focused on work - sexual thoughts are distracting.
183. I wanted to say "I’ve missed you."
184. I wanted to celebrate a birthday or anniversary or special occasion.
185. I wanted to say "I’m sorry."
186. I wanted to return a favor.
187. I wanted to say "Thank You."
188. I wanted to welcome someone home.
189. I wanted to say "goodbye."
190. I wanted to defy my parents.
191. I wanted to relieve menstrual cramps.
192. I wanted to relieve “blue balls.”
193. I wanted to get the most out of life.
194. I wanted to feel feminine.
195. I wanted to feel masculine.
196. I am a sex addict.
197. I wanted to see what all the fuss is about.
198. I thought it would boost my social status.
199. The person had a lot of money.
200. The person’s physical appearance turned me on.
201. The person was a good dancer.
202. Someone had told me that this person was good in bed.
203. The person had beautiful eyes.
204. The person made me feel sexy.
205. An erotic movie had turned me on.
206. The person had taken me out to an expensive dinner.
207. The person was a good kisser.
208. The person had bought me jewelry.
209. The person had a great sense of humor.
210. The person seemed self-confident.
211. The person really desired me.
212. The person was really desired by others.
213. I wanted to gain access to that person’s friend.
214. I felt jealous.
215. The person flattered me.
216. I wanted to see if I could get the other person into bed.
217. The person had a desirable body.
218. I had not had sex in a long time.
219. The person smelled nice.
220. The person had an attractive face.
221. I saw the person naked and could not resist.
222. I was turned on by the sexual conversation.
223. The person was intelligent.
224. The person caressed me.
225. The person wore revealing clothes.
226. The person had too much to drink and I was able to take advantage of him/her.
227. I knew the person was usually “out of my league.”
228. The person was mysterious.
229. I realized I was in love.
230. I wanted to forget about my problems.
231. I wanted to reproduce.
232. I/she was ovulating.
233. I wanted my partner to notice me.
234. I wanted to help my partner forget about his/her problems.
235. I wanted to lift my partner's spirits.
236. I wanted to submit to my partner.
237. I wanted to make my partner feel powerful.
238. Other (please fill in your reasons in the space below).
*Meston, C., & Buss, D.M. (2007). Why humans have sex. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 36, 477-507.
Why Have Sex? (YSEX?) Questionnaire
[Developed by Dr. Cindy Meston and Dr. David M. Buss]*
Note. This questionnaire is entirely voluntary. You are free not to participate or to skip any question you do not want to answer for any reason. All responses are totally confidential and anonymous. We would greatly appreciate your honest responses. Thank you!
People have sex (i.e., sexual intercourse) for many different reasons. Below is a list of some of these reasons. Please indicate how frequently each of the following reasons led you to have sex in the past. For example, if about half of the time you engaged in sexual intercourse you did so because you were bored, then you would write “3” beside question 3. If you have not had sex in the past, use the following scale to indicate what the likelihood that each of the following reasons would lead you to have sex.
1. I was “in the heat of the moment.”
2. It just happened.
3. I was bored.
4. It just seemed like “the thing to do.”
5. Someone dared me.
6. I desired emotional closeness (i.e., intimacy).
7. I wanted to feel closer to God.
8. I wanted to gain acceptance from friends.
9. It’s exciting, adventurous.
10. I wanted to make up after a fight.
11. I wanted to get rid of aggression.
12. I was under the influence of drugs.
13. I wanted to try to get a better mate than my current mate.
14. I wanted to express my love for the person.
15. I wanted to experience the physical pleasure.
16. I wanted to show my affection to the person.
17. I felt like I owed it to the person.
18. I was attracted to the person.
19. I was sexually aroused and wanted the release.
20. My friends were having sex and I wanted to fit in.
21. It feels good.
22. My partner kept insisting.
23. The person was famous and I wanted to be able to say I had sex with him/her.
24. I was physically forced to.
25. I was verbally coerced into it.
26. I wanted the person to love me.
27. I wanted to have a child.
28. I wanted to make someone else jealous.
29. I wanted to have more sex than my friends.
30. I was married and you’re supposed to.
31. I was tired of being a virgin.
32. I was “horny.”
33. I wanted to feel loved.
34. I was feeling lonely.
35. Everyone else was having sex.
36. I wanted the attention.
37. It was easier to “go all the way” than to stop.
38. I wanted to ensure the relationship was “committed.”
39. I was competing with someone else to “get the person.”
40. I wanted to “gain control” of the person.
41. I was curious about what the person was like in bed.
42. I was curious about sex.
43. I wanted to feel attractive.
44. I wanted to please my partner.
45. I wanted to display submission.
46. I wanted to release anxiety/stress
47. I didn’t know how to say “no.”
48. I felt like it was my duty.
49. I wanted to end the relationship.
50. My friends pressured me into it.
51. I wanted the adventure/excitement.
52. I wanted the experience.
53. I felt obligated to.
54. It’s fun.
55. I wanted to get even with someone (i.e., revenge).
56. I wanted to be popular.
57. It would get me gifts.
58. I wanted to act out a fantasy.
59. I hadn’t had sex for a while.
60. The person was “available.”
61. I didn’t want to “lose” the person.
62. I thought it would help “trap” a new partner.
63. I wanted to capture someone else’s mate.
64. I felt sorry for the person.
65. I wanted to feel powerful.
66. I wanted to “possess” the person.
67. I wanted to release tension.
68. I wanted to feel good about myself.
69. I was slumming.
70. I felt rebellious.
71. I wanted to intensify my relationship.
72. It seemed like the natural next step in my relationship.
73. I wanted to be nice.
74. I wanted to feel connected to the person.
75. I wanted to feel young.
76. I wanted to manipulate him/her into doing something for me.
77. I wanted him/her to stop bugging me about sex.
78. I wanted to hurt/humiliate the person.
79. I wanted the person to feel good about himself/herself.
80. I didn’t want to disappoint the person.
81. I was trying to “get over” an earlier person/relationship.
82. I wanted to reaffirm my sexual orientation.
83. I wanted to try out new sexual techniques or positions.
84. I felt guilty.
85. My hormones were out of control.
86. It was the only way my partner would spend time with me.
87. It became a habit.
88. I wanted to keep my partner happy.
89. I had no self-control.
90. I wanted to communicate at a "deeper" level.
91. I was afraid my partner would have an affair if I didn't have sex with him/her.
92. I was curious about my sexual abilities.
93. I wanted a "spiritual" experience.
94. It was just part of the relationship "routine."
95. I wanted to lose my inhibitions.
96. I got "carried away."
97. I needed another "notch on my belt."
98. The person demanded that I have sex with him/her.
99. The opportunity presented itself.
100. I wanted to see what it would be like to have sex while stoned (e.g., on marijuana or some other drug).
101. It's considered “taboo” by society.
102. I wanted to increase the number of sex partners I had experienced.
103. The person was too “hot” (sexy) to resist.
104. I thought it would relax me.
105. I thought it would make me feel healthy.
106. I wanted to experiment with new experiences.
107. I wanted to see what it would be like to have sex with another person.
108. I thought it would help me to fall asleep.
109. I could brag to other people about my sexual experience.
110. It would allow me to “get sex out of my system” so that I could focus on other things.
111. I wanted to decrease my partner’s desire to have sex with someone else.
112. It would damage my reputation if I said “no.”
113. The other person was too physically attractive to resist.
114. I wanted to celebrate something.
115. I was seduced.
116. I wanted to make the person feel better about herself/himself.
117. I wanted to increase the emotional bond by having sex.
118. I wanted to see whether sex with a different partner would feel different or better.
119. I was mad at my partner, so I had sex with someone else.
120. I wanted to fulfill a previous promise to my partner.
121. It was expected of me.
122. I wanted to keep my partner from straying.
123. I wanted the pure pleasure.
124. I wanted to dominate the other person.
125. I wanted to make a conquest.
126. I’m addicted to sex.
127. It was a favor to someone.
128. I wanted to be used or degraded.
129. Someone offered me money to do it.
130. I was drunk.
131. It seemed like good exercise.
132. I was pressured into doing it.
133. The person offered to give me drugs for doing it.
134. I was frustrated and needed relief.
135. It was a romantic setting.
136. I felt insecure.
137. My regular partner is boring, so I had sex with someone else.
138. I was on the “rebound” from another relationship.
139. I wanted to boost my self-esteem
140. I wanted to get my partner to stay with me.
141. Because of a bet.
142. It was a special occasion.
143. It was the next step in the relationship.
144. I wanted to get a special favor from someone.
145. I wanted to get back at my partner for having cheated on me.
146. I wanted to enhance my reputation.
147. I wanted to keep warm.
148. I wanted to punish myself.
149. I wanted to break up a rival’s relationship by having sex with his/her partner.
150. I wanted to stop my partners’ nagging.
151. I wanted to achieve an orgasm.
152. I wanted to brag to friends about my conquests.
153. I wanted to improve my sexual skills.
154. I wanted to get a job.
155. I wanted to get a raise.
156. I wanted to get a promotion.
157. I wanted to satisfy a compulsion.
158. I wanted to make money.
159. I wanted to keep my partner satisfied.
160. I wanted to change the topic of conversation.
161. I wanted to get out of doing something.
162. I wanted to test my compatibility with a new partner.
163. I wanted to get a partner to express love.
164. I wanted to put passion back into my relationship.
165. I wanted to prevent a breakup.
166. I wanted to become one with another person.
167. I wanted to get a favor from someone.
168. I wanted to breakup my relationship.
169. I wanted to give someone else a sexually transmitted disease (e.g., herpes, AIDS).
170. I wanted to breakup another’s relationship.
171. I wanted to avoid hurting someone’s feelings.
172. I wanted to make myself feel better about myself.
173. I wanted to get rid of a headache.
174. I was afraid to say "no" due to the possibility of physical harm.
175. I wanted to keep my partner from straying.
176. I wanted to burn calories.
177. I wanted to even the score with a cheating partner.
178. I wanted to hurt an enemy.
179. I wanted to feel older.
180. It is my genetic imperative.
181. It was an initiation rite to a club or organization.
182. I wanted to become more focused on work - sexual thoughts are distracting.
183. I wanted to say "I’ve missed you."
184. I wanted to celebrate a birthday or anniversary or special occasion.
185. I wanted to say "I’m sorry."
186. I wanted to return a favor.
187. I wanted to say "Thank You."
188. I wanted to welcome someone home.
189. I wanted to say "goodbye."
190. I wanted to defy my parents.
191. I wanted to relieve menstrual cramps.
192. I wanted to relieve “blue balls.”
193. I wanted to get the most out of life.
194. I wanted to feel feminine.
195. I wanted to feel masculine.
196. I am a sex addict.
197. I wanted to see what all the fuss is about.
198. I thought it would boost my social status.
199. The person had a lot of money.
200. The person’s physical appearance turned me on.
201. The person was a good dancer.
202. Someone had told me that this person was good in bed.
203. The person had beautiful eyes.
204. The person made me feel sexy.
205. An erotic movie had turned me on.
206. The person had taken me out to an expensive dinner.
207. The person was a good kisser.
208. The person had bought me jewelry.
209. The person had a great sense of humor.
210. The person seemed self-confident.
211. The person really desired me.
212. The person was really desired by others.
213. I wanted to gain access to that person’s friend.
214. I felt jealous.
215. The person flattered me.
216. I wanted to see if I could get the other person into bed.
217. The person had a desirable body.
218. I had not had sex in a long time.
219. The person smelled nice.
220. The person had an attractive face.
221. I saw the person naked and could not resist.
222. I was turned on by the sexual conversation.
223. The person was intelligent.
224. The person caressed me.
225. The person wore revealing clothes.
226. The person had too much to drink and I was able to take advantage of him/her.
227. I knew the person was usually “out of my league.”
228. The person was mysterious.
229. I realized I was in love.
230. I wanted to forget about my problems.
231. I wanted to reproduce.
232. I/she was ovulating.
233. I wanted my partner to notice me.
234. I wanted to help my partner forget about his/her problems.
235. I wanted to lift my partner's spirits.
236. I wanted to submit to my partner.
237. I wanted to make my partner feel powerful.
238. Other (please fill in your reasons in the space below).
*Meston, C., & Buss, D.M. (2007). Why humans have sex. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 36, 477-507.
Puerto Ricans reflect on status as more die in war
by Jeannette Rivera-Lyles Sentinel Staff Writer
July 30, 2007
DORADO, Puerto Rico - One afternoon in July 2003, Ada Hilda Torres caught the end of a TV report about a U.S. soldier who had died that day in Iraq. His name had not been released, but the Army had confirmed he was from Puerto Rico.Torres' motherly instincts immediately told her it was her eldest son, 29-year-old Army reservist Ramon Reyes Torres. She cried for hours before two men in uniform came to make it official."He died proud in his uniform," Torres said. "He loved the Army, and he loved his unit. But this is a war that should've never happened. Our young people are dying, and for what?"
So far, at least 66 Puerto Rican soldiers have died in Iraq and seven others in Afghanistan, according to Mothers Against War, an organization on the island. An additional 1,700 have returned injured.The casualty numbers from Mothers Against War are higher than those from the Department of Defense because they identify dead and injured soldiers by the towns from which they were recruited. DOD, which lists 29 fatalities from Puerto Rico, uses the hometowns listed by the soldiers themselves -- which are often their last military base.Like Torres, 75 percent of the residents of the U.S. commonwealth oppose the Iraq war, according to a recent poll by El Nuevo Dia, the island's leading newspaper. That is higher than the 62 percent of Americans on the mainland who don't support the war.
Those feelings are fueled by a dilemma as long-running and complicated as the century-old relationship between Washington and San Juan over the island's political status. The way some here see it, their soldiers are dying for a country that will take their blood, but not their votes. Although they are American citizens, Puerto Ricans can't vote for their commander in chief or elect representatives to Congress under the terms of the island's commonwealth status.
The anti-war sentiment is exacerbated by the many bodies in flag-draped caskets that have arrived on the island. Those images, as well as the sobs of grief-stricken relatives, are broadcast coast to coast for days at a time by the local media.
Puerto Rico is one of the U.S. Army's top recruiting regions. Since the Iraq war began in 2003, 6,275 Puerto Ricans have joined the Army or the Army Reserve, according to U.S. government data. Puerto Ricans who live on the island have signed up for military service at a higher rate than the residents of many states, the same data show.
Most join because of a sense of patriotism and loyalty to the U.S. But similar to other places in America, many are in dire financial need. That is a strong motivator in a place where more than 40 percent of the population lives in poverty, according to U.S. census figures.
"Reality is that the kids joining the military belong to the poor and working classes," said Sonia Santiago, founder of Mothers Against War, a grass-roots organization that also monitors recruiting tactics. "They see it as a way out of poverty."
It is hard to tell how many active-duty Puerto Rican soldiers are in the war because once they are recruited, the Army classifies them only as Americans. Mothers Against War estimates the number to be about 2,000. In addition, there are about 2,300 Puerto Rican National Guard and reservist troops in Iraq, according to Associated Press reports, and an additional 635 are expected to be deployed before the end of the year.
Yet, the 3.9 million Puerto Ricans on the island have no clout in Washington. Under its current commonwealth status, Puerto Rico is only allowed to send a nonvoting member to the House of Representatives. Some say it is a handicap that renders island residents second-class citizens.
"Today we have a situation in the battlefield that is incongruent with democracy," said retired U.S. Army Col. Dennis Freytes, an Orlando resident and Puerto Rico native. "We have two soldiers, both Americans, both defending our flag with courage, both facing death. But one of them doesn't have the right to vote because he is a resident of Puerto Rico."
The dilemma is not new. Puerto Ricans have served in the U.S. military since the first World War, but every conflict re-ignites the debate.
In the wake of the Vietnam War, for instance, political commentator Luis Davila Colon referred to the 345 Puerto Rican casualties as the "blood tax" paid in exchange for federal funds. The phrase appeared in an article he penned for the Puerto Rico Bar Association Law Review.
"It is a well-known American principle that taxation without representation is tyranny," Davila Colon said in the 1979 article. "The American citizens of Puerto Rico can add with dignity that the highest form of taxation is military conscription," he wrote, alluding to the draft.
In the Puerto Rican culture, the dead are mourned publicly and collectively. And when they are soldiers, the media joins in from the moment a casket arrives until it is buried. This is usually not seen as an intrusion but rather as a tribute to the soldier.
"It is an expression of love and respect," Torres said. "My son died the same day as [legendary salsa singer] Celia Cruz, but he got more news coverage."
The funeral of Torres' son was attended by more than 2,000 people, including Gov. Anibal Acevedo Vila and six mayors.On the way to the cemetery, the funeral procession went through the town where the fallen soldier grew up. Hundreds of tearful neighbors lined the streets waving Puerto Rican flags as cameras rolled.
Many agree that these kinds of images have played a powerful role in shaping opinion.
"Puerto Rican media is not regional, so every fallen soldier is [islandwide] news," said media analyst Luis Fernando Coss. "It's not that the media has done a good job covering the war, it hasn't. We don't hear, for instance, about Iraqi casualties. But our dead soldiers have gotten a lot of attention."
Talk radio, which floods the local airwaves almost around the clock, also has been influential."
I don't know of a single talk show, regardless of the political views of its host, that is supportive of this war," said political commentator Adolfo Krans, who hosts a radio talk show. "The Bush administration lied to get us there, and that's something you'll hear time and again in my show and others."
Similar to many of their fellow Americans, most Puerto Ricans would like to see their soldiers pulled out of Iraq.
"Enough," said Wanda Colon Cortes of the Caribbean Project for Justice and Peace in San Juan. "Our hearts ache. The entire island mourns every time one of our young men or women returns in a coffin."
Jeannette Rivera-Lyles can be reached at jrivera@orlandosentinel.com or 407-420-5471.
July 30, 2007
DORADO, Puerto Rico - One afternoon in July 2003, Ada Hilda Torres caught the end of a TV report about a U.S. soldier who had died that day in Iraq. His name had not been released, but the Army had confirmed he was from Puerto Rico.Torres' motherly instincts immediately told her it was her eldest son, 29-year-old Army reservist Ramon Reyes Torres. She cried for hours before two men in uniform came to make it official."He died proud in his uniform," Torres said. "He loved the Army, and he loved his unit. But this is a war that should've never happened. Our young people are dying, and for what?"
So far, at least 66 Puerto Rican soldiers have died in Iraq and seven others in Afghanistan, according to Mothers Against War, an organization on the island. An additional 1,700 have returned injured.The casualty numbers from Mothers Against War are higher than those from the Department of Defense because they identify dead and injured soldiers by the towns from which they were recruited. DOD, which lists 29 fatalities from Puerto Rico, uses the hometowns listed by the soldiers themselves -- which are often their last military base.Like Torres, 75 percent of the residents of the U.S. commonwealth oppose the Iraq war, according to a recent poll by El Nuevo Dia, the island's leading newspaper. That is higher than the 62 percent of Americans on the mainland who don't support the war.
Those feelings are fueled by a dilemma as long-running and complicated as the century-old relationship between Washington and San Juan over the island's political status. The way some here see it, their soldiers are dying for a country that will take their blood, but not their votes. Although they are American citizens, Puerto Ricans can't vote for their commander in chief or elect representatives to Congress under the terms of the island's commonwealth status.
The anti-war sentiment is exacerbated by the many bodies in flag-draped caskets that have arrived on the island. Those images, as well as the sobs of grief-stricken relatives, are broadcast coast to coast for days at a time by the local media.
Puerto Rico is one of the U.S. Army's top recruiting regions. Since the Iraq war began in 2003, 6,275 Puerto Ricans have joined the Army or the Army Reserve, according to U.S. government data. Puerto Ricans who live on the island have signed up for military service at a higher rate than the residents of many states, the same data show.
Most join because of a sense of patriotism and loyalty to the U.S. But similar to other places in America, many are in dire financial need. That is a strong motivator in a place where more than 40 percent of the population lives in poverty, according to U.S. census figures.
"Reality is that the kids joining the military belong to the poor and working classes," said Sonia Santiago, founder of Mothers Against War, a grass-roots organization that also monitors recruiting tactics. "They see it as a way out of poverty."
It is hard to tell how many active-duty Puerto Rican soldiers are in the war because once they are recruited, the Army classifies them only as Americans. Mothers Against War estimates the number to be about 2,000. In addition, there are about 2,300 Puerto Rican National Guard and reservist troops in Iraq, according to Associated Press reports, and an additional 635 are expected to be deployed before the end of the year.
Yet, the 3.9 million Puerto Ricans on the island have no clout in Washington. Under its current commonwealth status, Puerto Rico is only allowed to send a nonvoting member to the House of Representatives. Some say it is a handicap that renders island residents second-class citizens.
"Today we have a situation in the battlefield that is incongruent with democracy," said retired U.S. Army Col. Dennis Freytes, an Orlando resident and Puerto Rico native. "We have two soldiers, both Americans, both defending our flag with courage, both facing death. But one of them doesn't have the right to vote because he is a resident of Puerto Rico."
The dilemma is not new. Puerto Ricans have served in the U.S. military since the first World War, but every conflict re-ignites the debate.
In the wake of the Vietnam War, for instance, political commentator Luis Davila Colon referred to the 345 Puerto Rican casualties as the "blood tax" paid in exchange for federal funds. The phrase appeared in an article he penned for the Puerto Rico Bar Association Law Review.
"It is a well-known American principle that taxation without representation is tyranny," Davila Colon said in the 1979 article. "The American citizens of Puerto Rico can add with dignity that the highest form of taxation is military conscription," he wrote, alluding to the draft.
In the Puerto Rican culture, the dead are mourned publicly and collectively. And when they are soldiers, the media joins in from the moment a casket arrives until it is buried. This is usually not seen as an intrusion but rather as a tribute to the soldier.
"It is an expression of love and respect," Torres said. "My son died the same day as [legendary salsa singer] Celia Cruz, but he got more news coverage."
The funeral of Torres' son was attended by more than 2,000 people, including Gov. Anibal Acevedo Vila and six mayors.On the way to the cemetery, the funeral procession went through the town where the fallen soldier grew up. Hundreds of tearful neighbors lined the streets waving Puerto Rican flags as cameras rolled.
Many agree that these kinds of images have played a powerful role in shaping opinion.
"Puerto Rican media is not regional, so every fallen soldier is [islandwide] news," said media analyst Luis Fernando Coss. "It's not that the media has done a good job covering the war, it hasn't. We don't hear, for instance, about Iraqi casualties. But our dead soldiers have gotten a lot of attention."
Talk radio, which floods the local airwaves almost around the clock, also has been influential."
I don't know of a single talk show, regardless of the political views of its host, that is supportive of this war," said political commentator Adolfo Krans, who hosts a radio talk show. "The Bush administration lied to get us there, and that's something you'll hear time and again in my show and others."
Similar to many of their fellow Americans, most Puerto Ricans would like to see their soldiers pulled out of Iraq.
"Enough," said Wanda Colon Cortes of the Caribbean Project for Justice and Peace in San Juan. "Our hearts ache. The entire island mourns every time one of our young men or women returns in a coffin."
Jeannette Rivera-Lyles can be reached at jrivera@orlandosentinel.com or 407-420-5471.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Boys will be boys
I read this article in Time today and needless to say I am pissed. And not just because it's a Monday.It's funny how when women and girls make advances towards equity in this society, it is seen as some sort of decline for men and boys. You name it: math, science, college admissions, reading scores, pregnancy rates, employment, income, athletics, it's all a threat to the male position in society.
What about our boys?
With these advancements has come an onslaught of findings, theories, criticisms that raise questions about the status of the American boy. Boys are falling behind in the classroom, boys are dropping out, boys are underemployed, boys are committing suicide, boys are being emasculated.
Honestly: I don't give a fuck. Fuck them all. If men were to be eradicated tomorrow, I could care less. I really could. And this isn't some sort of hairy-legged, unshaven armpit dykey manifesto. This is I am sick and tired of patriarchy type of manifesto.
I am so over it. O-V-E-R it. I am biased. Biased against boys because I am a girl. And I don't really buy into theories about one gender being better than the other, or women excel at this and men do this more, blah, blah, blah. I don't. To each his own. Fuck science and every study that says otherwise. For every woman that is a good listener, there is one who is good at math and lift 300lbs over her head. For every man that works well with tools, you will find one that loves to write poetry and take long walks on the beach and such.
This "what about our boys?" debate is infused with homophobia, misogyny and patriarchal desires for the good ole days.
Which boys should we be worried about?
This debate is really about Black boys. Really. It's about them. White boys don't have much to worry about in this country. Black boys are the ones dropping out. They are the ones going to prison and killing themselves. Seriously.
So then, this isn't really all about gender. This is about race. And do you think that these are rich Black boys? Of course not. These are poor Black boys making this an issue of class as well.
To hear all the pundits (male and female), they never talk about this. They talk about boys in this general Opie Taylor sense. The reality is, the Opie's of America have two parents and middle class privileges. This is yet another way the dominant culture is masking the real issues of race and class in this society by trying to attack the progress of women and faulting it with the decline of male status.
Giving boys what they need
The article discusses what educators and social agents are trying to provide boys these days: special summer camps and same gender public schools. They argue that boys need to be free, use their hands, and have structured freedom so-to-speak.
Isn't this what all kids need? Since when do all girls like to sit on their asses all day and read fucking books? To argue that this is the best way for boys to learn is arguing that women can't be good at math, science, sports and the like, which we know isn't true. I believe in culturally appropriate approaches to learning, but to differentiate learning by gender is almost as bad as separate but equal tactics to education when it comes to race.
To every person that says boys need special environments in which to learn, I say go suck each and every one of their cocks, because I don't buy it. Don't all children deserve special and unique learning environments? I know that sounds like an oxymoron, but the education of our kids should be treated with special care. It's not like girls harbor some special force that allows them to transcend social barriers while boys sit and rot. Their ability to excel is certain areas is due to the fact that society is finally giving them the same fair shake at what men have always had.
This book should be banned and burned Fahrenheit 451 style
The Dangerous Book for Boys is some bullshit book that is all the rage among some educators, parents, and fathers' groups. It's all about teaching boys to be boys, light camp fires, learn about the solar system, insects, how to make things, etc.
Um, why are these topics limited to boys? Maybe Moxie wants to learn how to make a pinhole camera and pick out the best quotes from Shakespeare. This is some attempt to protect the masculinity of boys. To combat what feminists have done to the male ego. Boo fucking hoo. If I were a parent, I would purposely buy this book and make my daughters read it. You can never know too much about your enemy.
Also, there is this overall tone of homophobia in this search for masculinity. Is there something wrong with effeminate boys? Hardly. And some of the manliest men I know are big fucking homos.
I do suck at Math. My right brain is stronger.
So I do fit the stereotype for most women. Whatever, that is how fate and school wired me. This isn't to say that I don't know other women that can swim fast, do mental math, use a hammer or love cars like an Earnhardt.
When is society going to let it go and let girls and women succeed without hoopla around "protecting" the sanctity of the male bastion? When? When are we going to start looking at race seriously and deeply? When are we going to stop blaming feminists and start looking at class as the one thing that can divide or unite us over many fronts?
What about our boys? What about them? What about our girls? Their mothers? Their fathers? Their neighborhoods and communities? What about the big picture?
And starting off this week with something negative
You may have seen the quirky commerical for American Express' Member Project. It's a novel idea. Something like American Express will donate $1 for every member vote. Well word on the street is that Proctor & Gamble's Children's Safe Water Project is leading the finalists. Of course people were concerned that this huge company would be getting money for its charity. American Express responded with: P&G won't get the cash, Unicef will.
A response: "It feels like David and Goliath because not only is it a competition of ideas, but when you take into consideration that Unicef is a $300-million-plus entity combined with P&G — how do you compete with that?” says Neal Lurie, the marketing director at the American Solar Energy Society, affiliated with one of the finalist ideas.
Of course this critic is also a competitor in the contest, but his point is pretty valid. Of course, every charity could argue that it never runs short of needing more resources, but when you think about it, some are definitely better off than others. P&G is HUGE as is UNICEF. When the UN combines forces with a corporate giant, funds are not hard to come by. So what does a smaller, less-affiliated charity do? And when it comes to safe drinking water for children, I can't deny that it is a worthy cause, but shouldn't we want safe drinking water for everybody? Because if the adults can't have clean water, what good does it do the children? (Maybe my logic is skewed, but since this is my blog, it is not.)
I took a look at the other finalists and to be honest, they all look like a piece of shit. Is this what American Express card members have to choose from? Trees, some solar stuff, water and some mainstream educational charity? Really? That is it? Of all the things wrong in this world and this is what beat out the pack? Seriously? I have nothing against kids or trees, but I thought the average AE cardholder had loftier charitable aspirations. Note, though, that of the five finalists, three are environmental causes. Maybe AE members are tree huggers, too. Fucking limousine liberals with their Priuses.
Maybe other credit card companies will follow suit and offer their cardholders the opportunity to fund change. Better yet, all those people can make an online donation to their favorite charity....using their own credit card.
And as far as American Express donating $1 per member, how about waiving one month of each voting member's monthly payment, pooling it and donating that amount to charity. Now we're talking real money making real change.
A response: "It feels like David and Goliath because not only is it a competition of ideas, but when you take into consideration that Unicef is a $300-million-plus entity combined with P&G — how do you compete with that?” says Neal Lurie, the marketing director at the American Solar Energy Society, affiliated with one of the finalist ideas.
Of course this critic is also a competitor in the contest, but his point is pretty valid. Of course, every charity could argue that it never runs short of needing more resources, but when you think about it, some are definitely better off than others. P&G is HUGE as is UNICEF. When the UN combines forces with a corporate giant, funds are not hard to come by. So what does a smaller, less-affiliated charity do? And when it comes to safe drinking water for children, I can't deny that it is a worthy cause, but shouldn't we want safe drinking water for everybody? Because if the adults can't have clean water, what good does it do the children? (Maybe my logic is skewed, but since this is my blog, it is not.)
I took a look at the other finalists and to be honest, they all look like a piece of shit. Is this what American Express card members have to choose from? Trees, some solar stuff, water and some mainstream educational charity? Really? That is it? Of all the things wrong in this world and this is what beat out the pack? Seriously? I have nothing against kids or trees, but I thought the average AE cardholder had loftier charitable aspirations. Note, though, that of the five finalists, three are environmental causes. Maybe AE members are tree huggers, too. Fucking limousine liberals with their Priuses.
Maybe other credit card companies will follow suit and offer their cardholders the opportunity to fund change. Better yet, all those people can make an online donation to their favorite charity....using their own credit card.
And as far as American Express donating $1 per member, how about waiving one month of each voting member's monthly payment, pooling it and donating that amount to charity. Now we're talking real money making real change.
Friday, July 27, 2007
Wrapping up the week with something positive
Awesome program that helps underserved students with average grades manage and succeed in the college application process. In one word: motivational.
I swear it wasn't me
Racist threats abound for interracial couple from Boise St. The couple, who will be married this weekend, got engaged on national television during a football game.
For the record, it wasn't me who sent the threats....this time.
7/30/07: They jumped the broom???? Are you kidding me? A sacred African-American tradition for these two? It was one thing when my interracial, queer women friends did it at their wedding, but this guy and his cheerleader? no way.
For the record, it wasn't me who sent the threats....this time.
7/30/07: They jumped the broom???? Are you kidding me? A sacred African-American tradition for these two? It was one thing when my interracial, queer women friends did it at their wedding, but this guy and his cheerleader? no way.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
New study on charitable giving trends
Revealing study recently released about charities and American giving habits based on income. The most striking point for me was the fact that the richest people give the least to charities that combat poverty.
Not only do the rich get richer, they certainly don't give a shit about the poor. In fact, the study revealed that poor people give the most to poverty charities.
Not only do the rich get richer, they certainly don't give a shit about the poor. In fact, the study revealed that poor people give the most to poverty charities.
Notes on Mediocrity
So CYBT is a math whiz and suggested that I put my wordsmithing skills to use and become an online tutor. I knew I would not be qualified, but in some self-flagellating attempt to pursue new heights I took the subject exam. Ha. After failing the only subject I could be remotely qualified for, I was reminded of my mediocrity.
Somewhere in my adult life, I came to the conclusion that I was mediocre. There was nothing special about me: I am not a unique snowflake. That news in itself wasn't bad...a mere observation....a nod to self-awareness. What deepens this is the fact that I am not really good at anything.
I guess this all started one day when I was asked the question, "What do you do for fun? What are your hobbies?" I avoided the question because I didn't have an answer. When I think of hobbies, I think of rock climbing enthusiasts, crochet, stamp collecting, gardening, pianists, breeding champion show dogs, etc. I do none of that.
On job applications and resumes there is always a space for special skills or talents. That is also left blank for me. I don't have any special skills and while some ex-boyfriends may claim otherwise, I can't put that on a resume and I am sure there are other women who can do it better.
So somewhere in all this, I realized that I am mediocre; lacking in hobbies, specialties and strong points. I can't tutor anyone because I am not that good at English. And based on the tutor test, I may be pretty bad. I had borderline ACT/SAT scores. I only made the Dean's List twice in college. I never pursued an advanced degree. For all intents and purposes, I am a person of average intelligence that may be getting dumber as time progresses.
Look at my job: I am a fundraiser. I raise money for other people to actually achieve missions. Those who can't, fundraise.
I exude vagueness of ability.
I have average tastes...in everything.
I thought I could argue that I am a Jack of all Trades, but I don't have that many trades. So that definitely excludes me from being a Master of Anything.
Unless Mediocrity can be counted. Then I would be a Master of Mediocrity.
My fantasies and aspirations of being above the pack are practically dissolved. And I guess there isn't anything wrong with that. I have discarded lofty aspirations to be remembered, honored, or recognized for greatness. I never thought I could change the world, but at some point I wanted to have an impact and I don't think that's going to happen. No buildings named after me or national holidays in my honor...not that I was expecting the Nobel Prize or anything.
There are too many people on this earth for everyone to have an impact. And don't give me that that "to the world you are one person, but to one person" crap because that's also a crock of shit. When you're mediocre, you're not remarkable to other people. They use vague references about you that reflect their ignorance of everything about you from eye color to last name.
I have been reading a lot of Brazen lately and Penelope is all about specializing and marketing yourself. Why market yourself when you have nothing to market? I am sure there is some path to knowledge that I can get on, but at this point in my life, shouldn't I be good at something? I can't market being funny, a good writer, or Black: things that I am sorta good at. Do you know how many funny, Black literate people exist in America alone? If I were smarter, I could actually tell you that number.
And it's not like mediocre people don't excel. Look at our administration. But those people have connections. And I don't have those. (See above about people not really knowing who you are.) And because I come from a long line of mediocrity, I also don't have any money to support my mediocrity.
All this serves to say that maybe, just maybe, I am good--nay--the best at being mediocre, excelling at being average and unremarkable.
I suppose that in and of itself is some sort of accomplishment. Hmph.
Somewhere in my adult life, I came to the conclusion that I was mediocre. There was nothing special about me: I am not a unique snowflake. That news in itself wasn't bad...a mere observation....a nod to self-awareness. What deepens this is the fact that I am not really good at anything.
I guess this all started one day when I was asked the question, "What do you do for fun? What are your hobbies?" I avoided the question because I didn't have an answer. When I think of hobbies, I think of rock climbing enthusiasts, crochet, stamp collecting, gardening, pianists, breeding champion show dogs, etc. I do none of that.
On job applications and resumes there is always a space for special skills or talents. That is also left blank for me. I don't have any special skills and while some ex-boyfriends may claim otherwise, I can't put that on a resume and I am sure there are other women who can do it better.
So somewhere in all this, I realized that I am mediocre; lacking in hobbies, specialties and strong points. I can't tutor anyone because I am not that good at English. And based on the tutor test, I may be pretty bad. I had borderline ACT/SAT scores. I only made the Dean's List twice in college. I never pursued an advanced degree. For all intents and purposes, I am a person of average intelligence that may be getting dumber as time progresses.
Look at my job: I am a fundraiser. I raise money for other people to actually achieve missions. Those who can't, fundraise.
I exude vagueness of ability.
I have average tastes...in everything.
I thought I could argue that I am a Jack of all Trades, but I don't have that many trades. So that definitely excludes me from being a Master of Anything.
Unless Mediocrity can be counted. Then I would be a Master of Mediocrity.
My fantasies and aspirations of being above the pack are practically dissolved. And I guess there isn't anything wrong with that. I have discarded lofty aspirations to be remembered, honored, or recognized for greatness. I never thought I could change the world, but at some point I wanted to have an impact and I don't think that's going to happen. No buildings named after me or national holidays in my honor...not that I was expecting the Nobel Prize or anything.
There are too many people on this earth for everyone to have an impact. And don't give me that that "to the world you are one person, but to one person" crap because that's also a crock of shit. When you're mediocre, you're not remarkable to other people. They use vague references about you that reflect their ignorance of everything about you from eye color to last name.
I have been reading a lot of Brazen lately and Penelope is all about specializing and marketing yourself. Why market yourself when you have nothing to market? I am sure there is some path to knowledge that I can get on, but at this point in my life, shouldn't I be good at something? I can't market being funny, a good writer, or Black: things that I am sorta good at. Do you know how many funny, Black literate people exist in America alone? If I were smarter, I could actually tell you that number.
And it's not like mediocre people don't excel. Look at our administration. But those people have connections. And I don't have those. (See above about people not really knowing who you are.) And because I come from a long line of mediocrity, I also don't have any money to support my mediocrity.
All this serves to say that maybe, just maybe, I am good--nay--the best at being mediocre, excelling at being average and unremarkable.
I suppose that in and of itself is some sort of accomplishment. Hmph.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
