Things I would have gotten my father if he were still alive:
1. Bermuda shorts
2. New socks
3. Chocolate cake and icecream - both personal size just for him
4. A new mini boombox that plays audio tapes
5. A new pair of jeans (which he would never wear)
6. Pratical things like denture cleaner, baby oil, a packer of shavers and Lava soap
7. A new wallet with Velcro fastener
8. Gevalia coffee (which he would never drink)
9. A new mug or plastic cup with cheesy slogan or picture on it. (I would probably have gotten it on sale after Father's Day.)
10. Chocolate
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Not only will I sweat the small things, I will blog about them.
Quaint Quotables - Real words, real people
- "What do you do all day?"
- "I'm serious--selective alcoholism is the way to go. It's a coping mechanism. And I'm damn proud of it."
- "I don't know whether to send her flowers or a card because she is dying to be me."
- "You can't be first. You might be next."
- "My friend ended up not doing her documentary on drag queens. Instead she did it on something stupid like starvation in Africa or something. How unoriginal and overplayed is that? We get it: they're hungry."
- "You gotta get pissed at shit cuz shit aint right."
- "Black men aren't ugly....see, that's what white women think. [To them] Black men aren't ugly unless they're poor."
- "It’s hard being such a dynamic individual. I may be having an existentialist crisis, or I might just want to lose five pounds."
- "Cut the games. I'll bring the scissors."
- "Stolichnaya Vodka, in fact, may be a manifestation of my own desire in the physical plane......perhaps it exists only in my mind, and all who drink it join my fantasy."
- Yeah, my mom left me at the hospital to go get crack and never came back. Ain't that a mess?
- "I mean...I've never been sexually attracted to a cat, but if I were, it'd be a cheetah."
- "Girl, if I was into women, I would owe you like a ton of child support."
- "Guys, I have decided not to shave until they save the refugees of Darfur, or they vote off Sanjaya from Idol."
- "Oh look: where did this piece of glass come from? I'm going to keep it and put it in my crotch just in case I get raped tonight."
Connect the Dots
- My Personal Guru
- Much Needed Picker Upper
- Because it's 2008
- What am I doing?
- If I had a million dollars
- Afro-Latino Multimedia Experience
- Show me da money
- Mi gente son de...
- The Best Place on Earth
- Freestylin' chicas
- Get yo bling bling here
- Siempre en mi Corazon
- Since 1975
- Skia Font Inc
- United Way is fo suckas
- What didn't kill me only made me dumber
- A dose of Jesus
1 comment:
Lava soap. That stuff is ferocious.
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