Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Happy Birthday, Dad!

Things I would have gotten my father if he were still alive:

1. Bermuda shorts
2. New socks
3. Chocolate cake and icecream - both personal size just for him
4. A new mini boombox that plays audio tapes
5. A new pair of jeans (which he would never wear)
6. Pratical things like denture cleaner, baby oil, a packer of shavers and Lava soap
7. A new wallet with Velcro fastener
8. Gevalia coffee (which he would never drink)
9. A new mug or plastic cup with cheesy slogan or picture on it. (I would probably have gotten it on sale after Father's Day.)
10. Chocolate

Monday, July 7, 2008


Today's Obamaism:

Obamnivore (oh-BAHM-nuh-vohr) n. A Democratic voter who may have originally supported Hillary Clinton but is capable of digesting the platforms of either primary campaign.

Example: Though he voted for Sen. Clinton in the primary, Andy's obamnivoric tendencies allowed him to transition his support to Obama for the general election.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Sweet Irony

Came across this in the locker room of my gym.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Unity Interrupted

I'm not particularly excited or impressed about the upcoming rally featuring both Senators Obama and Clinton. What I do find interesting is the little town in New Hampshire where it's scheduled to take place. Unity, New Hampshire has a population of less than 2,000 people and the rally is expected to bring at least 2,500 visitors. It's one of those towns that amazingly still exists that has a general store and one post office.

The town's peaceful existence is going to be disrupted when a shitload of visitors descend upon the town for this rally. The interruption of mundane existence is off the scale and quite frankly, very unsettling.

Things I would be worried about if I lived in Unity, New Hampshire:

1. Where is everyone going to park? Will this affect my parking place/driveway?
2. Bathroom availability. Port-a-potties?
3. Trash? Will there be recycling of some sort? How will this influx of garbage affect our public sanitation system?
4. Can the local eateries handle the vegan/vegetarian requests of the almost certain neoliberal hippie visitors?
5. Will these people all speak English?
6. Should we make some sort of welcome banner?

Monday, June 23, 2008

Prophylactics Prohibition

Pharmacies. Back in the day, drug stores (as my mother likes to call them) served as watering holes for neighborhoods and communities. Think back like Andy Griffith: you could get a malt shake and aspirin in the same space (unless you were Black). They have obviously evolved as has the practice of pharmacology. Its ethics, rules and principles have been under growing scrutiny over the past five years (at least) because of pharmacist refusal conflicts. Policies regarding pharmacist refusal vary from state to state. When Plan B (name brand), or emergency contraception, became widely available over-the-counter, a gaggle of incidents arose nationwide where pro-life pharmacists refused to fill prescriptions for EC, birth control, or permit access to Plan B (which literally has to be handed over the counter). Further, independent stores refused to carry it altogether and some even refused to tell women where else they could go after refusing to hand it over in the first place. According to their sloppy science, contraceptives are a form of abortifacients, thus their moral and ethical compasses will not permit them to enable a woman to murder another human being.

(Yeah, I know.)

So anywho, while the crazy fem ladies battled it out in state after state to ensure that pharmacies were filling prescriptions regardless of how the dispenser felt, some pharmacists got the bright idea to open their own drug stores. Fire me for refusing to do my job? I'll show you CVS. I'll start my own damn pharmacy.

And these new pharmacies have everything you would expect, except any form of contraception including condoms. Viagra? Yes. Condoms and oral contraceptives, no. (Good luck rape victims, cuz they sure as hell don't carry Plan B.)

Some people could miss this blip in their regularly scheduled lives, but the reality is that huge forces are at play in dictating how you access medicine that has been safely prescribed to you by a medical professional. You think you live in a free society, where the world is your oyster? Think that the Middle East is the only place women are subjugated? Think again, because these pro-life pharmacies are coming to a town near you.

Wanna learn more or take action? Start here, here or here.

Can you still vote for someone even if you don't really like them?

Today's Obamaism:
Barocrates (buh-ROK-ruh-teez) n. An obscure Greek philosopher who pioneered a method of teaching in which sensitive topics are first posed as questions and then evaded.

Example: While Obama is well-trained in the Barocratic method, many less-capable politicians have had mixed success with the technique.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Happy(?) Juneteenth

Shame on me for operating as if it were any other day. Now all of my misguided hatred towards the white people in my life seems appropriate and relevant if only for today.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Normal dating life now seems lush and exotic

Funny: I totally dated a guy who was part of a powerful family here. Wild.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Subject: Correction

To: [All staff]

I must not know how to spell today because my last two subject headings were spelled wrong…oops.

Subject: LEAF Items

Subject: Refrigerator


***** [deleted name]
Administrative Coordinator
My Job
Address 1
Address 2
Phone Number

The first time this whole thing has been amusing

From The

Grandmother Proud To Have Lived Long Enough To See First Viable Female Candidate Torn Apart
June 16, 2008 Issue 44•25

PEORIA, IL—Seventy-six-year-old grandmother Anita Graney told reporters Monday that she was "overwhelmed with pride" for having lived to see the first viable female presidential candidate in the nation's history so successfully run into the ground by vicious media attacks and hubristic, arrogant miscalculations. "Hillary [Clinton] showed America that a woman can be politically destroyed just as completely and heartbreakingly as any man," said Graney, a lifelong feminist. "What an amazing example for today's young women who aspire to fail spectacularly at the highest levels." Graney expressed hope that one of her granddaughters might someday be the first woman to get utterly eviscerated in a nationwide general election.