Is this why I don't have many friends?

A new study says that obesity spreads in social circles.

The researchers cautioned that people should not sever relationships with friends who have gained weight or stigmatize obese people, noting that close friendships have many positive health effects. But the results do support forming relationships with people who have healthful lifestyles.

It's an interesting study and scientists that work with fat people all the time are salivating at this new research. Moxie always attempts to find the personal in every piece of news and this led me to think, "Does my fat prevent me from maintaining and developing new friendships?" Do people not want to be my friend because I am a lard ass?

This is scary. But I can only imagine some poor fat kid's parents saying to him, "Johnny, dear....sweetie: Curtis doesn't want to play with you anymore because he's afraid he will become fat like you."

Nobody knew this was fact better than adolescent girls. I can recall my chubby days in grade school. Skinny girls were not my friends. Perhaps they already knew what it took researchers years to figure out: fat people are gross and they make you fat, too. The bastards.

The research in the study also says that this can work in reverse, that when one loses weight, others will follow suit. Adult women already know this: if one friend becomes skinnier, you need to become skinnier than her.

No one wants to be the fat friend. I'm always the fat friend, or the funny friend....or the Black friend. And now my excess body weight has been scientifically proven to be a social pitfall to not only myself, but others. I'm contagious.

Seriously, though, while obesity has serious health concerns, this country still has serious body image issues. Despite having gained a shitload of weight, I feel good about myself most days. Most days. But it's bigger (pun intended) than a "BIG is Beautiful" mantra, it has been a matter of plan ol' self-acceptance. A refusal to be ashamed to have a dress size in the double digits. The availability of cute and fashionable clothing has helped, too. I rock sexy underwear and my tits look great. Plump and precious. Zany and zaftig. Whatever. I can change the way I look, or accept that some things can't change. Or, I can ask: why do I need to change?

I remember going to Puerto Rico and at the time I was feeling really down about my weight gain. I had been experiencing this huge feeling of rejection from the opposite sex and I felt that it was because of my weight gain (though I know this rejection is more avoidance and that is whole different post). Then I was out on the scene there and I couldn't help but notice the lingering glances of men, the catcalls (I like catcalling sometimes), and the pick up lines and such. It was great being harassed at the club again! I felt pretty. Seriously, I felt pretty. AND I noticed that there were big girls everywhere. And they looked GOOOD. Stiletto heels and all. They looked fabulous and the men appreciated them, too.

This is mostly cultural, I know. But it was so affirming to be around people who saw beauty in everyone. It was great. And that was when I began to realize that no matter what size I am, I need to find my beauty. I can't wait to be pretty at some other size. I can't hope that one day I will be a size I will never be again. The reality is I will hover around this size for the rest of my life unless something dramatic happens to me. There is a fine line between striving to be a healthy weight for your body and being thin according to everyone else's standards and I just don't want to teeter around that line anymore. And it's freeing. Really.

So based on this new study, I should be on social quarantine, but I guess I don't give a shit anymore. Meanwhile, I need to take more trips to PR while I'm at it. Get a man. Or, move to Long Beach and hang out here.