Mum Men

This little nugget came across my desk today. Apparently we have a problem and that problem is that men don't talk. Talk as in express emotion and communicate. The editor (who I am sure is as gay as he pretends to be heterosexual) of Men's Health magazine offered up these reasons for this terrible phenomenon:

1. Guys Are A Little Intimidated
2. Guys Need To Decompress
3. Guys Are More Comfortable With Actions Than Feelings
4. Guys Don't Want To Be Put On The Spot

1. Intimated by what? When you are at the top of the gender food chain, what can you possibly be intimated by? That you might actually prove how stupid and undeserving of your privilege you really are?

2. Decompress? Men apparently are the only ones who need a little time to themselves when they get home from work. Wow. Usually after dealing with daily incidences of white ignorance, male gazes and other bullshit that results from living in a capitalistic, heterosexist, racist, patriarchal society, I need some solo time, too. Maybe on the crapper, maybe with a glass of wine, maybe with my own large pizza...maybe all three. But, gee. WOW. Thanks, editor guy for pointing this out, since this has nothing to do with personal preference and has everything to do with how your reproductive organs fall inside your pants.

3. You got that fucking right. You can blame every single war and human atrocity in the world's history on men. If even a QUARTER of those conflicts were talked out, shit would be a whole lot different.

4. Thanks for this one. Men don't like a barrage of questions. Who does except for self-centered assholes. Whatever. Again, this is not gender issue, but thanks for making it one.

Maybe it's because I am PMS'ing, or maybe it's because I'm like this all the time. Maybe it's because I had to counsel a woman today after she was raped by some dude. Whatever it is, the LAST thing I want to read about is how men don't talk enough. As far as I'm concerned, men need to shut the fuck up.

The real and ONLY reason men don't talk is because they are bound by the same strict and impossible gender roles that we all fall victim to. It's patriarchy that has made communicating a woman's "thing". And because it is something women are supposedly good at, patriarchy made sure that it was something men should not aspire to. You can list all sorts of bullshit, pop psychology reasons for why men don't communicate with their female partners, but you're wasting your time. If female "traits" weren't seen as weaknesses, then maybe we'd be in a better place. Until you confront the system of patriarchy and refuse to operate by its rules, men will continue to suffer under these antiquated John Wayne stereotypes that equate maleness with silence.