Lezzie Lip Locks and Gay-free AIDS Conference

What a week for The Gays.

First off: lesbian couple in Seattle (fuck the Mariners!) were asked to leave a Mariner's game after they were told their kissing in public was inappropriate. Parents apparently complained because they would have been forced to have "one of those talks" with their kids about special feelings that they may have for someone who has the same junk in their underpants as they do. No parent has time for that, they just want to watch a baseball game. (Red Sox won that game, in case you were curious. I guess it sucked for those lezzie Mariners fans all the way around.)

Here's the thing: they claim that a straight couple rows ahead were making out and groping each other, whereas they were just eating garlic fries and exchanging random kisses (gross - garlic fries and kissing?). I hate PDA. Hate, Hate, HATE it. Even kisses exchanged at the alter after it is announced that the bride may indeed be kissed (irregardless of the fact that she probably just gave dude a blowjob two nights before), grosses me out. And I will admit to my own internalized homophobia that makes me cringe anytime some woman I am dating wants to hold hands or smooch in public. Gross. Gross. Gross. I hate when I watch something on television or a movie and two people kiss and it makes that moist noise. Ew.

PDA is sooooo annoying either way you slice it in my book. So I can understand the extent in which fellow spectators were annoyed with these women making out. The obvious problem arises when they didn't seem to have a problem with the other couple playing tonsil toss a few rows ahead. After all, wouldn't that saliva exchange raise similar questions about no-no parts and where babies come from?

More importantly, who the fuck makes out baseball games or any sporting event for that matter? Pathetic. I also hate when people do proposals at sporting events. Nothing says "I love you; let's spend the rest of our lives together" like a jumbo-tron and a kamillion screaming strangers drinking piss beer and plastic nachos.

Moving on to Uganda, Africa, gay protesters were arrested after crashing a conference on AIDS. Um...an AIDS conference with no Gays? Say whaaat? That's wild. There's homophobia in the African AIDS community. Wild.