Black Thursday

Thanks to Mademoiselle Kitty leading me to the news goldmine of hilarity. Comments in BOLD.

Bill Cosby issues a challenge at Mount Zion of Oakwood Village
Thursday, March 06, 2008
David Briggs and Stan Donaldson
Plain Dealer Reporters

Oakwood- Actor and author Bill Cosby challenged members of Greater Cleveland's black community Wednesday to take responsibility for themselves and their children. [GOOD LUCK WITH THAT ONE, BILL.]

The 70-year-old advocate told them not to turn away from the problems of teenage pregnancy, crime and school dropout rates that lead to misery over generations.

Cosby, who has been criticized for drawing attention to problems in the black community, also addressed the sensitive issue of sexual abuse of boys and girls by black men.

"Your dirty laundry is out there. I'm telling you it's time to wash," Cosby told a crowd of several hundred who packed Mount Zion Oakwood Village. [NICE METAPHOR. NOW AFTER THEY WASH THIS METAPHORICAL DIRTY LAUNDRY WILL YOU BE MAD IF THEY HANG IT ALL OUT TO DRY ON THEIR FRONT PORCH?]

Earlier, he spoke at Cuyahoga Community College in Cleveland.

His tough-love message, mixed with humor, was embraced by the civic, political, educational and religious leaders and laypeople at Mount Zion.

Before his talk, civic leaders pledged to "work toward health care, nutrition, child care, education, housing and other basic needs together that provide a decent standard of living." [PLEDGE = CROCK OF SHIT.]

The Rev. Marvin McMickle, chairman of United Pastors in Mission, one of the sponsors of the event, reminded the gathering, "We are not here just to see a celebrity. We are here because the celebrity is challenging us to look at ourselves."

And challenge Cosby did, taking on parents who are afraid to discipline their children and adults who would rather look past the ills facing the black community than address them.

"What do you care what white people think?" he asked. "If you did care, there would be no housing projects. We'd have houses. We'd have stores. We'd have banks." [UM...GEE, WHERE TO START WITH THIS ONE? IF WHITE PEOPLE CARED PERIOD, WE'D HAVE THESE THINGS, TOO. BUT REALLY, WHAT DOES THE PROSPERITY OF THE BLACK COMMUNITY HAVE TO DO WITH WHITE PEOPLE IN THE END? I MEAN, WE SHOULDN'T CARE WHAT WHITE PEOPLE THINK ABOUT US, WE NEED TO CARE ABOUT WHAT THEY DO TO US....I'M CERTAINLY NOT HERE TO IMPRESS SOME WHITE PEOPLE. VERY PERPLEXING STATEMENT THERE BILL.]

When someone in the choir said, "Watch out," Cosby responded, to applause, "No, I'm not watching out. I'm going to tell it."

Talking about sexual abuse of children, Cosby said, "I'm saying now: Enough. Enough. Protect these children. It's on you. It's on you."

At Tri-C, about 400 people heard Cosby talk about the importance of education.

Plain Dealer reporter Sam Fulwood moderated the event. He asked Cosby about education, youth and if the actor thought his message was making an impact.

"These kids are lost," Cosby said. "They have no clear idea of the old mantra that used to be put on the youth."

While Cosby criticized poor parenting, the influence of rap music and the mental state of youth with his trademark humor, he also took on those who have criticized his opinions about the state of black America.

"We have so many people saying these people can't do this . . . look at the story of Phillis Wheatley. Look up the story of Frederick Douglass," Cosby said. [THESE ARE THE BEST EXAMPLES HE COULD COME UP WITH? WHILE GREAT, NOT REALISTIC FOR KIDS THESE DAYS. HA. I JUST SAID, "KIDS THESE DAYS", I'M OLD.]

Homer Gates, 46, of Cleveland, brought his 14-year-old twin sons Marvelous and Wonderful to hear Cosby.

"It was a good chance for them to see a positive brother and to know that they can be anything they want to be if they put their mind to it," he said. [THEY CAN BE ANYTHING PEOPLE NAMED "MARVELOUS" AND "WONDERFUL" CAN BE. TO MY KNOWLEDGE DRAG QUEENS AND STRIPPERS ARE ALL I CAN THINK OF.]

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Around the time I got this news lead from MK, I just finished the following conversation with a coworker of mine:

Coworker: Your hands are bigger than mine. You have long fingers.
Moxie: Yikes, and they're dry, too. I need to moisturize.
C: I have some lotion. I'm ashy, too!
Moxie: No, I will use my Black people moisturizer on my desk.
C: Like, COCOA BUTTER? I crack up everytime I think about you telling me about Black people and cocoa butter.
Moxie: Yeah, white people aren't allowed to use it.
C: Oh! Hey, what if I came to work one day with Black people makeup on?? Like only on my face and my neck would still be white? That would be crazy!
Coworker 2 (upon overhearing): Um...white people used to do that because they thought it was funny. It wasn't very nice.
Moxie: It's called Black Face. You never heard of that?
C: NO. People really did that to Black people?
Moxie: (laughing) Uh, yeah.
C2: You're so young. Of course you wouldn't know about that.
Moxie: I'm young enough to not have experienced it either! (to coworker 1): I'm going to have you watch Eyes on the Prize.
C: What is that?
Moxie: An award-winning documentary about Blacks post-slavery and the Civil Rights Movement.
C: (exasperated) Is it long?
Moxie: Might be longer than Roots, so yeah, its pretty long.
C: What's Roots?

(Moxie walks away and finds email from MK.)