After complaints for neocon assholes including the highly annoying Michelle "I need my vag card taken away" Malkin, Dunkin Donuts has pulled online ads featuring the sweet-faced Rachel Ray because of a fucking scarf. Critics say that the scarf she is wearing resembles a kaffiyeh, which is a traditional Muslim headdress and has been associated with Muslim extremists (Muslim extremists are not to be confused with these sorts of extremists).
So the company pulled the ads. My SWL to Dunkin Donuts below:
Andrew Mastrangelo - Manager, Public Relations
781-737-5200
andrew.mastrangelo@dunkinbrands.com
Dear Mr. Mastrangelo,
I'm sure you're not the best person to send this correspondence to, but I found your contact info and your title has the words "public" and "relations" in it, so I figured I can at least vent to you since I am part of the public and this has to do with relations.
I'm not a frequent consumer of of Dunkin' Donuts, but when I have a craving for donuts you're the guys I go to. I love your iced coffee. Let me repeat: LOVE the iced coffee. When I ate meat, I was a fan of your breakfast sandwiches, paired with that coffee of yours, it made my mornings. Seriously. And of course, your donuts. I remember one time I had was experiencing major PMS. (Each month I have strong cravings for something sweet. Last month it was a brownie, but I can guarantee you that several months out of the year, I crave donuts.) I was craving donut holes in particular. Not just a whole donut, but the holes. I was dating this woman at the time (yes, queers love donuts, too) and she drove past not one, but three donuts shops just to get to a Dunkin' Donuts. She and I both knew that you guys would have the best donut holes. She got me two bags of donuts holes and I went through them in about a week.
There is this guy I have a crush on and he loves donuts. In my quest to win him over we make mundane small talk about things that interest him and we've talked about the freshness of Dunkin' Donuts products. Gosh, Mr. Matrangelo, I can tell you about several romantic relationships (real or desired) that have included your products. I can tell you about the time I woke up after a rather fun "sleep over" to the smell of a Dunkin' Donut breakfast bagel sandwich and the BIGGEST cup of coffee I've ever seen with the right amount of cream - no prep needed on my part.
The point is: I like your company and I feel compelled to tell you that I'm a smidge disappointed in this headline. I'm not the biggest fan of Rachel Ray, but she works well as a spokesperson for your company. But she's apparently not the problem, her scarf is. And after some neocon jerks complained about it's "symbolism" your marketing gurus decided to pull the ad. Now, I don't know Ms. Ray personally, but I'm pretty sure she's not a Muslim extremist. And while I don't know everything about your company's investments, I'm pretty sure you don't fund terrorist organizations.
So why did you pull the ads? Why didn't you assert yourself as the nation's - dare I say the world's - purveyor of donuts, and stand behind your ad, your product, your spokesperson and your integrity? Can't any rational, intelligent human being see that the scarf (in this context) has nothing to do with Muslims or extremist philosophies???? Of course we can, but Michelle Malkin is not a rational human being. And I can't believe that a company that has existed for over fifty years gave in to irrational, close-minded people who probably don't even consume your products.
I'm not going to say that I will never consume your products again, but I will say that I am mad at you guys and I wish you would reconsider your actions.
Sincerely,
MarilynJean
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