Allegiances

I came across this column in the WaPo and it reads like every other article with the same content. But it got me a thinkin' about this whole ism vs. ism debate that this unfortunate primary has dumped upon our fair country.

At this point, in case you didn't know, I don't care anymore who gets the nomination. I never really did. I have yet to knock on a door, make a phone call or write a check for either Senator Clinton or Obama. I obviously hate John McCain (and his wife and daughter), so really, anyone who can defeat him November has my vote. There is little difference between Obama and Clinton to warrant my intense dislike of one or the other. I did vote for Hillary in the Ohio primary because I liked her as a candidate. (despite her voting for that silly war and all) But, do I think that Obama has a better chance of defeating McCain? Sure. Except I think that McCain will win because of all the fighting and clawing Dems are doing right now.

So why, as a woman of color, did I vote for Clinton? You may want to assume that I think my experiences with racism far outweigh my experiences with sexism. Well, they don't. And this isn't to say that the first time I got called a nigger wasn't as hurtful as the first time a man forced himself on me sexually. They sucked all the same. One happened in a store in a checkout line and the other happened in my college dorm room. The fact is this: women of color are at a crossroad of oppression. We know this. But some, find one ism to be more defining of their lives than the other.

For me, my gender connects me with 50% of the world's population. My race connects me with a fraction of that. I like to think that I identify with all women of color because we're not white. But I am not so naive to not understand that among people of color there are lines drawn and factions formed. That is how the dominant culture likes it and we want to keep the white man happy, right? *cheesy smile*

We are fighting a pointless identity war because two people from oppressed classes have made it far enough to be consider POTUS. At times, it takes my breath away to know that I am living in this moment, in this reality. I honestly did not think I would live to see the day when these people would be viable candidates. I am too lazy to find the link, but I remember posting in mockery about both Clinton and Obama. I had become so jaded in my cynicism that I never saw the light at the end of the oppressive tunnel: A woman president? yeah right. A colored in the white house, heck naw. And I was born into a world where I could use whatever drinking fountain I wanted. I had white classmates. I could go to college. I had the right to a safe and legal abortion. So why wasn't I more optimistic about their chances? Because all the lynchings and cross burnings and barefoot and pregnant women were replaced with systemic, ingrained discrimination. Racism and sexism reared its ugly head in the form of policies and legislation that worked to erode Blacks and women's place in American society. Rape still exists. Violence against women still exists. So I still have plenty to be angry about.

And here we are. Pitted one against the other. But why do people think that Obama can resolve the legacy of racism in America simply because he talks a good talk and he's brown? I can't honestly say that he is Black because he's a person of mixed descent. Just by calling him a Black man concedes to the one drop rule that negates and denies his entire racial history. But I digress...and why would Hillary not be suited to resolve the legacy of racism in America? Because she is not a person of color? Why do we anticipate sweeping changes in the current state of affairs in race if Obama became president? Do we figure that the ERA would actually pass if Clinton became president? Why is the answer to race seemingly more important than solving an issue that affects half of the human population?

If majority rules, then isn't sexism just as important an issue? I need not remind people that Black men earned the right to vote before any woman. I need not point out that Black men were not open to Black women taking a lead role in the civil rights movement. That isn't to say they didn't have a vital place, but still. Black churches are beacons of homophobic and sexist rhetoric that relegates Black women to secondary roles because that's how God wants it. I don't have to remind you that Black women suffered at the hands of not only white masters and mistresses, but also at the hands of Black males during and post slavery. I need not remind people that Black women suffer attacks from Black men who say they are emasculating them because we're in college more, that we make more money because of it. That Black women don't allow Black men to be men. These arguments about how our successes are somehow debilitating to their masculinity. I need not remind people that it was Black women who spoke out against lynchings, and that after that we went home and cleaned our house and raised our children.

I don't need to waste my time telling you these things, because you already know this.

I don't have a special allegiance with white women. I never have, but I can empathize with their middle class, second wave struggles somewhat. Feminism, of course, has moved beyond that and women in The Struggle understand that there is more to equity than equal pay and work outside the home. I often don't even like white women, but Clinton doesn't represent what I hate about white women. Cindy McCain does that. I know that white women slept in their beds while their husbands raped Black women and killed their husbands. I know there were white suffragists who deserted Black women in order to appeal to Southern voters who would grant them to the right to vote if Black women were excluded from the ballot. So no, I don't think white women are my sisters. But I also don't think Black men are my brothers.

I have no allegiances to Obama or Clinton because neither one represents me wholly or symbolizes everything I believe in and would die for. Neither one has had to live with and confront the dual oppressions that I experience in my life. I cannot forsake my body anymore than my skin color. When a Black man gropes me in a club, or when a white woman asks me for help in a store because she thinks I work there, I am reminded that I cannot ever pick one ism over the other. When I walk into a room and people make assumptions because I am Black, it infuriates me just the same when a man assumes he has right to sex with me because he bought me dinner. Obama isn't a feminist any more than Clinton is the beacon of racial equity. Neither one of them have spoken to my needs as a woman of color. I mean, yes, Clinton and Obama overcame their own very specific trials to get to where they are today: two wealthy U.S. Senators with Ivy League educations, book deals worth millions and a shot at the presidency. To be quite honest, how many Black men and how many white women actually have that much in common with either of them?

It bothers me that some Black women think we owe our loyalties to Black men because we share a history. I don't see Black men being that loyal to us. If I did, maybe I would feel, think and act differently. I don't see how our 400+ year history binds us any stronger than motherhood, menstruation, sexual violence or our second class status. Today, women of all creeds, colors, races, classes and religions suffer from systemic oppression and violations - some more than others. And yes, it is very true that Black men are severely persecuted in the judicial system, in education and in the medical system. This shouldn't be a tit for tat race to the bottom. I shouldn't have to list every concession and every oppression, but I want to acknowledge that everyone suffers but a certain, privileged few and that group of people rarely looks any different now than it did 4, 5, 1,ooo years ago. Surprise, surprise it looks like John McCain.

Besides, having a brown colored president doesn't shift the dynamic that much. There will still be a First Lady - I doubt Michelle Obama will return to her corporate leadership position. The default salutation will still be Mr. President and men will still be the de facto gender of power. The only thing that changed was the name on the door and the color of the face, but he will still pee standing up.

I see America having a female president sending out a message to all the women around the world whose lives suck way more than mine. I see it saying that women are valuable. Not for what it between their legs, but for who they are and what they think. I think about women in Tibet and in Afghanistan and in Darfur and in Brasil and in India and in Timor and in Thailand and in Mexico and in Bosnia. I think about them and the experiences we share.

I know what divides us, but what good is fighting about those divisions when we ultimately have the same oppressor? If both white women and Black men and everyone in between can't connect on a common enemy (in this case, McCain), then we can't see the true beauty that Obama and Clinton's quest really is: the realization of so many people's hopes, dreams, fights and struggles. People who aren't alive to see the fruits of their labors. If that notion can't unite us, then nothing can.