The cuuuuuutest dangerous threat I have ever seen

Those silly Iranians! They're at it again! Who knew that the Western hemisphere's secret weapon was a doll? In the latest episode of Iranian shenanigans, Barbie is the focus of their patriarchal ire. Some official with a long ass name wrote a public letter to the country's VP saying that Barb is a threat to their morally upright cultural. She represents a Western invasion that must be stopped before their piously clothed girls and women rise up and revolt against their oppression!

Quoth he:

"The displays of personalities such as Barbie, Batman, Spiderman and Harry Potter ... as well as the irregular importation of unsanctioned computer games and movies are all warning bells to the officials in the cultural arena."

Yikes...Barbie, superheroes and some annoying magician boy could erode their cultural arena. Hush yo mouth, boy! I mean...Barbie has been destroying my "cultural arena" since the day I was born. So in a sense, he's right: Barbie is a "danger". I think we all understand that she represents everything wrong with femininity, race and beauty ideals. On the other hand, she was an astronaut, a chef, a CEO, a surfer, a cowgirl and a butterfly princess. Girl keeps a job.

So she looks like a whore? Isn't that what you think all women are anyway? Don't get mad a some doll because she openly questions your puritanical, oppressive ideologies that force women into sub-human conditions all while balancing on 4-inch heels and rockin a sweet, pearly white smile. It'd be different if Iran were rejecting the Mattel icon on a strictly feminist basis, but of course it isn't. The sad thing is that these Iranian girls long for these white, plastic dolls and they don't know that to gain the "freedoms" that Barbie has, they would have to leave one oppressive state for another.