Today my boss, W, brought in cupcakes to celebrate my S's purchase of a new home with her fiance. There was a card that got passed around for signature and everything. In a way, it is a nice example of how supportive the staff is of each other and the celebratory nature of everyone's accomplishments....
....if you consider buying a home an accomplishment. Do not think for one second, that Moxie is touched by this workplace display of commaderie. I'm not. I appreciate office birthday parties (to an extent) and moments when we pat ourselves on the back for a job well done (which in most cases is just doing your job period). However, sitting in the conference room today reminded me of yet another pet peeve I have with society; those occurences in life that we considered milestones, or benchmarks of success and happiness.
Home buying: Let's start with the relevant one. Purchasing a home is a big deal in the sense that you need to be financially saavy and have the consumer abilities to navigate treacherous markets. BUT, buying a home is completely a choice and no longer should it be viewed as part of the American Dream to attain one. In fact, there are arguments that say renting may not be as bad as we were all taught to believe.
Beliefs that owning a home is a signifier of a job well done in life is symbolic of a by-gone era that says women should stay at home and three kids is not enough to build a family. Home buying and the real estate industry suffers from HUGE discriminatory practices and is in terrible need of more government oversight.
Owning a home is yet another level of responsibility that requires angst over things like patio deck finish, snow blowers, annoying neighbors, asshole kids running amok over your perennials, many a Saturday spent in the garage, and internal debates over which Christmas wreath will look "perfect" on the door for the neighborhood holiday decorating contest.
Where the hell is my card that says, "Congratulations on making the rent yet another month. Good job on not fucking up someone else's property."?
Getting Married: This is another one. In fact, it's THE BIG ONE. Society has instilled in us - women especially - that marriage is THE beacon of success. Despite all the progress women have made towards personal and financial independence, the wedding industry is still a multi-billion dollar industry fueled by the hopes and dreams of being a princess and living happily ever after.
There is no need for me to wax unpoetically about the pains associated with weddings and brides...note how the word "marriage" is not used often. And again, I am forced to raise the question: Where is my shower with banners that says, "Congrats on having a great first date!" or "Congrats on avoiding marrying complete and total bastards!" or "Congrats on being in love with yourself!"
Just curious. I deserve a new microwave as much as anybody else. And the world is telling me that I have to date someone, fall in love with them, get engaged, and then - only then, can I essentially demand that my loved ones buy me shit for a house they can't live in, and stuff they will never use. Nice.
Having a baby: This is the other ultimate. Continuing the human race is cause for MUCH celebration. It's ironic because this is one of the easiest biological functions two people can carry out. Breathing and heart function can be harder to do. It has to be easy: think of all the people (including yourself) that weren't planned, or all the people you know that are 1 of 10 children. It has to be easy, because the things you do to avoid heart failure and lung diseases are complex and require self-control such as excercise, eating right, surgery, dieting, etc. The way you avoid pregnancy is not to have sex, take a pill once a day, or use a latex piece of material. Simple, right?
But, for some reason, we as humans find this simple, biological occurence to be akin to a miracle. And each little precious baby is a miracle....to its parents. Somehow, though, many are forced to worship at a pink or blue alter for 9 months plus in awe of the product that resulted when mommy and daddy got drunk at TGI Friday's and forgot to use protection. This worship involves yet another shower that requires attendees to puchase shit for a child that is not theirs. Expensive shit. I personally like to bring condoms to baby showers because that seems to be the one thing that is missing. I would also bring alcohol because why make everyone suffer because you can harm your fetus with libations? Seriously.
I want a party every month where people bring me tampons and feminine hygiene wipes and cards that say, "Congratulations on using condoms!" or "Yay! For periods: one of the best ways to be assured that condom didn't break." or "Kudos for not having to remember that guy's name, because trying to figure out who the baby daddy is would be tough!" or "Congrats on one more month without stretch marks!" Menstration is one natural occurence that isn't celebrated enough.
Pregnant Moxie: Giving birth to justice. Search by mother's name: Moxie Lady
Married Moxie: Love is forever.
Moxie's House: Queen of the Castle.
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2 comments:
That article about renting was really helpful actually.
And the red microwave at target is the one i want. Of course.
After Garrett and I got engaged my dad made some comment like "I'm proud of you." And i was just puzzled as all heck by that. Proud of me for what?
This the best post ever! I want the red micro, too. We really should just get married so we can get stuff. I really want a grill.
And your attraction to P-Doddy is quite health. "I wanna lover with a sloooooow hand." Seriously though, you saying "I'd hit that" at the gallery brought a rosiness to my cheeks last seen when I was going through my Live Action Sailor Moon phase.
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